We all heard it: loving ourselves is important. It is crucial for our physical and emotional health, for our self-image, for our relationship with others, for our attitude and for so many other things.
For some people self-love comes naturally and easily. For others it is difficult and may seem them near impossible.
If you are part of the second group you may wonder how on Earth to love yourself.
Affirmations are great tools – we heard that a million times. But then again, they may not work for you in the beginning or may just be weird to say “I love you.” looking into the mirror and to really mean it as well.
Fear no more, there is a great road to self-love besides affirmations – though you can include affirmations using this tool as well.
So how to love yourself?
Ask yourself the question: “When do I feel loved?”
Everyone has different answers to this. You may feel loved when you receive flowers or when someone looks at you in the eye or when someone cooks you a nice meal or when you receive a present or when you are being touched or when someone invites you to watch the sunset or … it is all personal. But everyone has at least a short list of things that makes them feel loved.
Write this list down. Write down everything that makes you feel loved.
Pick one or pick a few and do that every single day for yourself. That’s right, you don’t need to depend on someone to do things to make you feel loved. Do something every single day that makes you feel loved. Self-love will follow.
Just think about it: if someone gives you a hug, buys you flowers, talks to you nicely, cooks you dinner and so on every day, sooner or later (usually sooner) you will feel loved by that person. What if that person is you? Will you eventually feel love from yourself towards yourself? I believe so.’ So do a loving action for yourself every day.
But wait, can you through affirmations into the garbage then?
Of course, not! Affirmations are irreplaceable to tools to self love. Don’t you feel loved when someone says “I love you.” or “You are wonderful, inspiring, beautiful, smart, etc”?! I thought so. So next to loving actions (buying flowers, cooking a nice meal to yourself, watching the sunset with yourself, writing yourself a love note, etc) say and think loving affirmations. Use the sentences that makes you feel loved: write them down, say them out loud while looking into the mirror, and repeat them quietly.
It is like math:
Loving actions + Loving words = Love.
Self-loving actions + Self-loving words = Self-love.
Just remember, once you feel the love, do not even think about stopping with the loving thoughts and actions. You wouldn’t want someone else to stop expressing their love either, right? So keep continuing with the self-love.