Babies are fantastic little creatures. They are curious. They are fascinated by their surroundings. They love to explore and to learn. They discover their surroundings using all their senses: they want to touch, feel, smell, taste and hear everything. They want to feel one with them, to become one with everything and to really experience it. They are not afraid. They are not thinking ‘oh, what if’, but grab it with full heart. They learn by experiencing. They rely on and trust their intuition. And they are never discouraged when something doesn’t work out for the first try. When they learn to walk, they do not dwell that they fell a million times, but get up, try again, continue and eventually learn it. They learn by experience and by not giving up.
This is how I recently immersed myself into personal development, self-knowledge, spirituality, the meaning of life, holistic living and holistic health. Just like a baby: without expectations, with a full heart, with all my senses, with curiosity, without giving up, and by relying on my intuition.
Last Spring I went to a bio-energetic healing session. It didn’t help at all. But trouble is, I was not open to it at all. I made up my mind that energy work was bogus and this won’t work. I only went because it was a ‘free trial’ sort of thing. Now, I am not saying that bio-energy works. I don’t know. But if I don’t give it a chance, if I don’t believe in it at all, nothing will work.
Now I am completely open to all ideas. I listen to everyone’s opinion, suggestions, be that a book, a youtube video or the craziest sounding healing technique. Relying on my intuition I decide whether to follow up or not. Caught that? I don’t decide with my brain that this is not for me, I rely on my intuition whether or not to watch the next youtube clip from this person or to try a certain kind of treatment. I don’t do anything because I have to or because some thought I should, but because I feel that – or rather deep inside – I know that I have to look into this or have to try it. Sure, I don’t have the time to watch every youtube clip, every documentary, every book and don’t have the money, access to and resources to all healing method or course. I try my best to get a small taste of everything, then immerse into what I feel is the most ‘right’ or most interesting (or I can afford). The rest I ‘put into the parking lot’ to read, to watch or to try later. My intuition led me to some amazing resources. I discovered Wayne Dyer’s work and immersed into the videos of Louis Hay. I immersed into teaching of the law of attraction. I fell in love with 5Rhythms. I found an amazing massage therapist. I tried metamorf massage, gong bath and theta healing. I don’t even have to mention how much I am into my studies at IIN. I am continuously attending workshops and seminars on self-improvement and integral psychology. My intuition also led me to some that are not right for me (like attending free meditations at a near-by buddhist communitiy center, trying kundalini yoga, doing a free session with an integral psychologist, or trying a certain brand of protein powder – things that just didn’t feel right in the end), but I believe I had to look into them for a reason: to learn.
I am still in the very beginning of my journey. I still didn’t find solutions. I still have headaches. I still have issues ‘inside’. I am not healed. But I am on my way. It is all part of my healing journey. I believe I will heal and I do my best to enjoy the healing process.
I am open to learning. I am open to experiencing. I am excited for anything new. I am hungry for more.
(The photo was taken in the spring of 2011 in Amsterdam when I was living there. “Me on my journey”)