Authenticity, honesty and complaining…
What is the difference? When are we authentic, when are we honest and when do we actually simply just complain? There is a fine line between these three.
I have always been an honest person: honest, blunt and wearing my emotions on my slaves. I expressed what I thought and had no secrets in front of the world.
I have never heard of the word authenticity until a few years ago. Then I assumed I was authentic, because I was so honest. I could’ve not been far from the truth.
Honesty and complaining are passive, whereas authenticity is active.
Honesty is often simply about not lying, telling the truth. Honesty can be hurtful when we bluntly share our thoughts and feelings without any compassion and consideration. Honesty is often selfish this way and builds on our selfish ego of needing to express the truth with empathy for the experience of the receiver or consideration of the entire picture.
Authenticity is something deeper, however. It is about living our most inner-truth. It is about openness and vulnerability. Authenticity requires honesty, but it also requires a deep sense of compassion and a high level of empathy to express the truth without hurting anyone. Authenticity is not selfish but builds on love and connectedness.
What about complaining? Sharing my sadness, anger and frustration in an honest manner is part of being authentic, right? Wrong! Yes, sharing our experience honestly – even if it is not so positive – is an important part of authenticity, but sharing how we deal with it also is because authenticity is about the solution not the problem. Continuously sharing our hurt and frustration – while it may be honest – is not authentic, but it is just simple complaining lacking empathy and compassion once again. It is a cry for help, a selfish act coming from fear.
Complaining is selfish, fear-based and anger-based. Honesty is selfish, truth-based and ego based. Both complaining and honesty lack compassion, empathy and connectedness. Authenticity, however, is not ego-based but about the highest truth. Authenticity is love-based full of compassion, empathy and connectedness.
To be happy, I believe, we need to live from the heart a love-based life. This is why I actively choose to be authentic living a life based on love, compassion, empathy and connectedness.
(Written: July 27, 2014)