Lately there are so many articles about ‘toxic people’, ‘toxic relationships’ in our lives holding us back and how we should leave these ‘toxic people’ behind to be able to grow, to reach our dreams and to live a happy and fulfilling life. This article is just an example describing these ‘toxic people’ in our lives and encouraging your to ‘detox’.
A part of me agrees… To be happy, healthy & fulfilled, we should surround ourselves with happy, healthy, fulfilled, positive, and kind people – their habits our contagious, they will uplift us, inspire us rather than bring us down. We will uplift each other, grow together and transform the world together.
On the other hand, what about these ‘toxic people’?! For one, who even decided that they are ‘toxic’? Seriously, where is this clear toxicity scale that we can turn to, check it, and pick or choose people based on that? Who are we to judge someone?
Did we EVER look beneath the surface, beneath the cover?
Perhaps there is a reason that these people are so ‘toxic’: a terrible childhood, history of abuse and trauma, loneliness, low self-esteem, their upbringing, and the simply inability to cope and be happy or positive. Sure, these are not excuses. There are positive inspiring people out there despite of their hardships… But those people are either lucky with happy genetics or simply learned how to be happier and more positive.
That’s my point. These ‘toxic people’ in your life may have some big problems, deep pains beneath the surface. It is not that they are bad or want to be ‘toxic’ but simply unable to cope otherwise.Perhaps they need extra support, extra inspiration, true friendships, someone who is willing to go beneath the surface…they simply likely need to meet the right inspiring person, book or technique to help them change their lives and be ‘non-toxic’.
What happens if we erase all the ‘toxic people’ from our lives? Sure, our lives may become easier and happier. But what happens to them? Will there big a “Toxic People Facebook Group” for them to go hang-out at?! Will they be even more lonely, unhappy and rejected? Will they ever become ‘non-toxic’, happy, inspiring and fulfilled? Or will they feel even worse then ever before?
What happens if you actually welcome these ‘toxic people’ in your life and love them unconditionally?
Here is the thing. Noone, but you can control your thoughts and emotions. It is not the ‘toxic people’ that bring you down. It is you who is bringing you down. You have the power to change your thoughts and emotions, to be happy, to be inspired, to be inspiring and to be fulfilled with or without, despite or because of ‘toxic’ (and ‘un-toxic’) people in your life.
You also have the power to love these ‘toxic people’, to listen to them, to hear them, to love them, to inspire them, and to love them unconditionally. You have to ability to leave them. But you also have to power to be there for and with them. You have the responsibility not to judge them. You have the power to help and to inspire them ‘detoxify’. This may just be the way to truly heal and transform the world…
Something to think about when you are ready to start cutting the ‘toxic people’ out of your life:
What happens if you welcome these ‘toxic people’ in your life and love them unconditionally?
(Written on June 14, 2014)